I have loved the Oscars since I was a little girl and used to beg my parents to let me stay up past my bedtime to watch gorgeous people in extravagant outfits thank their parents and agents and Meryl Streep. So leading up to Oscar Sunday, I get those same excited butterflies. Even when the show is deathly dull, which it undoubtedly will be for unconscionably long stretches, I can’t help but get caught up in the occasion. Something about that little naked golden man makes even the most beautiful, glamourous and talented people in the world turn into blubbering fools. It’s fantastic.

But this year I find myself in the unusual situation of having seen none – yes, NONE – of the best picture nominees. For whatever reason 2012 was a slow movie year for me and I only got out to see a handful of them in the theaters, none which were apparently Oscar worthy. Sure I wanted to see some of the films (chief among them “Beasts of the Southern Wild” and “Silver Linings Playbook”), but it just hasn’t happened yet. So I go into this year without any obvious favorites and with no real reason to act enraged or elated when someone wins or loses. So instead this year I am flat-out base my rooting system on who I think will be the most entertaining/delightful/bizarre acceptance speeches. If I’m just watching it for the show, it might as well be a good one.

So, if you want to follow along with me as I live-tweet this year’s shindig, these are the nominees I’ll be throwing my support behind. Once again, these picks are not based on quality or deserving it (though a few do both), but instead on solely what I perceive will be my personal sense of viewing enjoyment.

1. Jennifer Lawrence for Best Actress
Jennifer Lawrence is hilarious, quotes “Mean Girls” and “The First Wives Club” in her speeches and generally seems like the BFF we all wish we had to watch the Oscars with. I want her to win all the awards always.
2. Anne Hathaway for Best Supporting Actress
Anne Hathaway quoted Tina Fey and also will more than likely cry. Her pixie cut is really cute, too. And she was one Princess of Genovia.
3. Joaquin Phoenix for Best Actor
Please, you know that speech would be a fucking disaster. If we’re really lucky he’ll give it with a frog on his head.
4. Tommy Lee Jones for Best Supporting Actor
But only if he promises to do his Grumpy Cat impression throughout his speech.
5. “Frankenweenie” for Best Animated Film
If Tim Burton wins we’ll be treated to many reaction shots of Helena Bonham Carter and whatever crazytown gothic carnival ride of a getup she decided to grace us with.
6. “Skyfall” for Best Song
Because any day Adele gets to go on stage, open her mouth and say things into a microphone is a good day.
7. A Meteor that takes out host Seth MacFarlane
To be honest, this is what I’m rooting for the hardest. And just in case I think the producers should have Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and/or any other hilarious female comedian who would do a better job hosting this thing waiting in the wings.

To quote my favorite red-haired witch, love makes you do the wacky. Love for another person. Love for our families. Love for our friends. Love for our favorite fictional characters. And love for what those fictional characters represent.

I know this; I feel it too. But sometimes I forget. Like when I joke about enjoying the hot so-called shipping wars between Doccubus and Copubus on “Lost Girl.” Wait, back up, let’s begin at the beginning. The wires and lights in a box currently only has one, yes one, TV show centered around a singular lesbian or bisexual female character. That show is “Lost Girl.” Sure, lesbian and bisexual female characters are parts of other leading ensembles – “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Pretty Little Liars,” “Glee.” But not centered around them, which makes Bo Dennis that much more important.

And also important is the relationship Bo has had with one Dr. Lauren Lewis since the very start of the show. From first touch, these two have had electric chemistry. And we’ve waited, through starts and stops and girlfriends in a coma, until these two were in an honest to goodness, lasts more than one episode real relationship. And this season, we finally have it. Doccubus is here and it is glorious.

But now, as happily ever afters make for very dull television, there is a wrench. Bo (a bisexual Succubus who must feeds off of the sexual energy – or chi – of victims to live) needs to do just that with people other than her human lover/girlfriend/hotpants Lauren. Welcome to TV’s interesting open same-sex relationship.

As such, last week Bo and former No. 1 frenemy Tamsin, the Valkyrie Dark Fae police detective with a mean right hook, made with the kissy face. Sure, it was a necessity so Bo could go on. But it was still a kiss and as such was, empirically speaking, kinda hot. I am just a red-blooded American gay gal and I call two hot ladies together hot when I see them being hot together.

That does not, however, invalidate my feelings for Doccubus. That does not invalidate how much I enjoy/support/respect Bo and Lauren’s relationship. Nor, do I think, it in any way undermines them. But, judging form the heated explosion of Doccubus v. Copubus comments to last week’s recap, everyone does not feel the same way.

Look, far be it from me to say who you can and can’t ship as a couple. Just was we all have an inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, so do we have the right to pursue all three through the semi-obsessive devotion to a fictional couplehood that may or may not exist in the aforementioned universes. Love your loves, ship your ships. And if you must start playing battleship, do so without denigrating the quality of someone else’s boat. At least that’s how I look at this big board game of life.

So, on this hiatus week for “Lost Girl,” let’s all take a breath and enjoy the show. More fans getting more excited about a real or wishful coupling means more people are invested in the show. And more, from a TV perspective, is always better. And shipping need not be a blood sport. Can’t we all just get along? Also, Doccubus4Lyfe.

UPDATE: Look, if you don’t like playful discussion of Copubus, that’s cool. I am solidly and forever Team Doccubus and have been since I started writing about the show in early May 2011, both on my site and on AfterEllen. I have recapped the show for AfterEllen since Sept. 2011 when I began weekly reviews of the second season and then wrote simultaneous retro recaps at of the first season to coincide with the U.S. airings. AfterEllen has been covering the show since November 2010 when we ran our first interview with Anna Silk. That’s less than two months after the show premiered in Canada. So to make bizarre claims of bandwagon jumping is beyond ridiculous. And to attack other talented AE writers who I respect and am friends with is not allowed on my site. And, once again, your facts are wrong – she interviewed them before the season but Showcase asked us to hold them for fear of spoilers, then she reinterviewed them entirely later in the season when the old information was obsolete. Those new Q&As ran within days of her interviewing them.

My post today was about getting along in fandom. About not attacking each other and enjoying the stories both put before and those we weave ourselves with passion and respect. If you want to yell at me about subtext, that’s your prerogative. But that’s not the discussion I am trying to have here. And to conflate the two brief comments I’ve made about Copubus with the homophobic rantings of some troll elsewhere is beyond insulting. This is my personal, non-commercial blog which I run because I love pop culture and lesbians and whenever and however the two intersect. If you bite all the open hands extended to you, all that will be left in the world are mangled stumps.

Intense Docubus v. Copubus discussion going on in the #LostGirl Recap comments. With shipping wars this hot we all win. bit.ly/VKwG1M

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) February 20, 2013

If you think that’s somehow throwing Doccubus under the bus and abandoning my favorite current ship on television, I am sorry. I see it as having fun with a show that has almost too many hot characters than it knows what to do with. I did not create Copubus out of clay and present it to the world as a shining statue to shipperdom. I just noticed it existed. And I joke because I’m entirely and unquestionably secure in by belief that Doccubus can handle and best any competition, real or imagined.

We can argue until the cows come home and those cows have babies and then those baby cows come home and they have their own baby cows and so on and so moo about which ships are our favorite and which deserve more coverage and which are getting shortchanged. But in the end hopefully you can see that my ultimate goal is always for there to be more and better LGBT stories for us to enjoy. I am inclined, despite my misanthropic nature, to still believe the best in people until presented with the opposite reality. I would hope you afford me that same courtesy instead of attributing nefarious motivations to things which you do not fully understand yet.

Because here is what I believe about these stories that flicker across that glass box in our living rooms. We, the viewers, are entitled to the best stories possible. We are entitled to authentic characters and real portrayals. We are not, however, entitled to our favorite pairing living happily ever after. We simply are not, as much as we want it. We can hope for it and advocate for it and fight with our last breath for it. But writers do not have to give it to us, they only have to give us the most honest story they can.

And there is a real nuance to this point, and the nuance is everything. I get mad and will always be mad at Ilene Chaiken because her stories were not authentic. She gave us wonderful characters and amazing relationships, but then she jerked them around like a mad puppeteer and we all saw the strings and wished so much we could cut them. I am thankful to her for creating the show, but I wish she had let it live free of her personal agenda.

Same goes for Ryan Murphy and “Glee.” The show can, when it’s truly on, give us stunning moments of universal empathy where something which the wider world did not understand before becomes crystalline before all of our eyes. Kurt receiving the unconditional love of his father. Santana cracking open the hard shell she protected her soft heart with. These moments moved us. But then characters flitted and floated and look, something shiny. And he insisted we should be happy we got Brittana in the first place. But, at least for me, it wasn’t just about giving them a happily ever after. It was giving them a real reason for not riding off into the sunset together. I am thankful to him for creating the show, but I wish he had let it live free of his personal agenda.

I am not, however, mad at say a Joss Whedon or a Shonda Rhimes because as crazypants and tragic and disappointing as some of their plot twists may be, they do it in pursuit of their stories, not just their own desire to bend the world to their megalomania. But now I’ve veered into a philosophical discussion of my television-based worldview. Which, you know, embarrassing.

If you think my or AE’s coverage of “Lost Girl” is lacking, tell us where we can improve. But also be realistic. “Lost Girl” gets recaps, actress interviews, news updates, viewing guides and general commentary about it on the regular. The site has done interviews with the stars of the show every year the show has been on the air. Not too many series with major LGBT characters have afforded us the same courtesy and access. This is no small feat for a non-mainstream media site to accomplish. Almost every single post about the show gets promoted into the marquee on the AE homepage. The only reason I do not include a Twitter roundup of “Lost Girl” fans comments like with some other shows is because this show airs in two different countries on two different days. And it would become too cumbersome and time consuming for me to track, review and catalogue hundred of tweets over a two-day period. I am but one girl with a computer, and sometimes even I need to sleep.

You want a wide-reaching article about “Lost Girl”’s impact on popular culture? Sure, one might be due. But also realize AE is a commercial news and entertainment site and as such it goes where the audience is. “Glee” gets more coverage because “Glee” has a larger audience. That’s just another fact. Last season it averaged around 7 million viewers per episode where “Lost Girl” hovered right around 1 million. And “Pretty Little Liars” averages around 2.5 to 3 million viewers a week its last season. And if you think all of the coverage of “Glee” of late has been positive, you justweren’tpayingattention.

As for AE coverage in general? Well, as I mentioned, I’m not the one steering that ship. But I will say the site over the years has evolved and while it is not perfect, because nothing is, it strives to give full and far-reaching coverage of what has become a very diverse universe of lesbian media. No site can be all things to all people. And, yes, it devotes some coverage to subtext because, again, there’s an audience there who asks for it. If you do not enjoy the subtext coverage, I politely ask you simply do not read it. Because there is plenty of coverage of maintext you can read instead. This season alone the site has recapped “Lost Girl,” “Pretty Little Liars,” “Glee,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Bomb Girls,” “The Good Wife,” “Degrassi,” “Chicago Fire,” “True Blood,” “Last Tango in Halifax,” “White Collar,” “American Horror Story: Asylum,” “Emily Owens MD,” “The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons,” “Project Runway” and “R&B Divas” – all shows with a major lesbian and/or bisexual character and/or contestant. The only shows it is currently recaps with subtext? “Rizzoli & Isles” and “Once Upon a Time.”

(Please note and respect that I am emphatically not here to debate the merits of subtext. That is another post for another day.)

Bashing the people in your community who chose to write about and champion our representation, out of nothing more than love for the medium and a desire to see our lives reflected back honestly to us, doesn’t solve the problem. It doesn’t make TV writers write more LGBT characters. And it doesn’t create a utopian universe of LGBT visibility. All it does is make the people who do the writing weary. That’s not a threat, that’s just a fact.

It’s been an intense two days. And I just want to have some fun. And in doing so say how much I appreciate all of you kind, lovely people who come back day-after-day, week-after-week, year-after-year to read the assorted flotsam and jetsam that floats through my mind. And when I grow weary, you’re the ones who lift me up and remind me why writing for and about a vibrant and underrepresented community matters. And that makes me feel like dancing. And I’m going to take a few cues from the First Lady of the United States and try out my best mom moves in the middle of my living room. I’m partial to the “Oh My God, I Love This Song.” Hey, if I could do it half as well as Mrs. Obama, I’d be happy. FLOTUS dance party!

Radha Mitchell has a new TV show. It looks pretty bad, but that’s not really the point. The point is seeing Radha Mitchell on my TV screen makes me get butterfly like feelings of nascent 90s lesbianism when there was no such thing as “Queer as Folk” or “The L Word” or “Lip Service” or “Skins” or “Glee” or “Pretty Little Liars” or “Lost Girl.” There was just indie movies caught in darkened arthouse theaters that made us gleam with recognition. And so seeing Radha on my screen again reminds me of a sweet little Aussie import “Love & Other Catastrophes” which featured a young Radha and a young Frances O'Connor in love and other catastrophes. It also reminded me of “High Art,” which was mesmerizingly beautiful but like “Old Yeller” a lot better if you just stop before the end. So, while I have no plans to watch “Red Widow,” I do have plans to go on a YouTube bender and find a wee Radha and a wee Frances falling in love all over again. Happy weekend, all.

A TV show with an out lesbian as its star? Yes, please, sign me up. A TV show with an out lesbian as its star playing a lesbian lead character? Yes, please, sign me up. A TV show with an out lesbian as its star playing a lesbian lead character who is a vet? Yes, please, sign me up! So many good things. Real lesbians! TV lesbians! Veterinarians which means cute animals! Yes, yes, so many yeses.

But then, um, then I watched the new British comedy “Heading Out” and, well. Yes? Look, I know it’s practically sacrilege to not like a show by a lesbian about lesbians. But I kind of didn’t like BBC Two’s “Heading Out.” And I really, really, really wanted to. It just didn’t work. At least not the pilot episode.

You see, on paper I should love a show starring out British comic Sue Perkins about a vet who gets pushed out of the closet on her 40th birthday. While I’m not familiar with Sue’s work, I have heard good things about it and was very much looking forward to seeing her new show. And then I did. Now perhaps it’s just that something got lost in translation in the British humor. Like that whole netball bit. But I just didn’t enjoy the awkward, and even callous, character played by Sue. Not that I have a problem with awkward characters, but they need a certain amount of charm to work well. And so far, charming is not the adjective I’d apply to Sue’s Sara. More like a ungainly adolescent with legal access to pentobarbital.

Is there space to grow? Of course. And I certainly hope it does. Pilots are often the worst episode of any series, because everyone is still finding their feet. The setup is promising. And I’ll watch almost anything to catch a glimpse of Shelley Conn. (Like really, anything. I watched that boring dinosaur show a lot longer than I should have.) And sexy Lexy from “Lip Service” Anna Skellern will also appear. And that’s a lot to like. So, maybe I’ll tough it out and get over the dead cat in the handbag. I certainly hope, that like the gay experience in general, it gets better.

Remember when I said I didn’t see many movies in 2012. Well, I saw enough to know which was my favorite. It wasn’t any of the best picture nominees (because I didn’t see any of them, except for “Life of Pi” which did in no way make me believe in the existence of God), and it wasn’t “The Avengers” or “The Hunger Games” or “The Hobbit” or “Brave.” It was a little movie about a guy with really big fists and a girl with candy in her hair and how they both learned to be heroes. Yes, I know, I totally loved “Wreck-It Ralph.” Granted, I’m a sucker for animation and when you couple that with my fond thoughts of precious allowance quarters spent at the arcade during grade school, you have a movie I’d gladly watch again and again. A film as clever as it is fun, with morals baked in so carefully you’ll gladly take another slice. And, while it doesn’t have any overtly gay characters, it does have Jane Lynch. And that’s always a win for Team Rainbow in my book. The rest of the voice talent of John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jack McBrayer, Alan Tudyk and Mindy Kaling ain’t so shabby either. So this week instead of finally getting around to watching “Argo” or that movie where the vampires’ heads pop off like Barbie dolls, go find yourself a copy of the movie that’s just as sweet as it looks.

p.s. Wanna waste an afternoon? You can play the games too.

As the big – this makes me very nervous and very excited – Prop. 8 case is about to come before the Supreme Court, same-sex couples across the county wait and hope as their ability to legally marry awaits the judgment of nine men and women in funny looking robes. President Obama has had his administration file a legal brief against Prop. 8 last week, officially asking the court to overturn California’s voter-passed ban on same-sex marriage. Also last week, a slew of prominent conservative leaders filed a similar brief opposing Prop. 8 and advocating for same-sex marriage with the courts, among them failed California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman and failed Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman (both, it should be added, opposed marriage equality while running for their respective offices but have since had a change of vote). The Great Panted One herself Ellen posted her own brief, of the less legal kind, to the court as well. Someone tweet that to them, would you?

As important as the Supreme Court case will be (and it is ridiculously, nail bitingly important), in many ways it feels like no matter what happens we’re already winning. Granted, not the legal way that gives us that precious piece of paper and the inalienable rights it imparts. But in the court of public opinion we’ve come so far it’s almost quaint to think where we’ve been 20, 10, even five years ago. And one of the most interesting barometers of this is mainstream advertising’s willingness to use same-sex couples to make a buck. Nothing cuts to the bottom line faster and more brutally than what people will use to make us try to buy. I remember back more than a decade ago when I used to scour the Commercial Closet (remember them? I do) looking for any kind of representation of us, even the shitty kind.

These days inclusiveness finds its way into the hard pitch to make us part ways with our hard-earned money. Just like J.C. Penney included both female and male same-sex families in its Mother’s and Father’s Day circulars last year, other major corporations are following suit. And while there’s a long history of companies pitching specifically to gay audiences at gay events (count the beer advertisers at your next pride event this summer), sending the message to the masses like J.C. Penney and others are doing means even more. It means it’s no longer hush-hush to support the radical notion that gay people are valid and vital parts of our community and also tend to purchase things. So imagine my pleasure when while watching Food Network (oh, please, you know it and HGTV are my forever TV weaknesses) I came across this delightful ad for the Kindle. Progress, sold to you one adorable hunky dude couple using a portable electronic reader at a time. We’re here, we’re queer, we buy shit. Get used to it.

Hey, what’s post-“30 Rock” Tina Fey up to, asked the universe? OK, maybe not the entire universe, but I certainly did and I get to type things onto the computer screen and post them here, so there. Thursday nights remind me of the Tina Fey-shaped hole on my television each week. But thankfully recent appearances by my Fake TV Wife on Jimmy Fallon and Dave Letterman show that she is, indeed, very well. Still wearing a lot of black dresses and – despite what she may say – her arm to boob ratio is just fine, thank you. Appearing in black and white in Time magazine spread as she called them, “selfies from around the house.” Other news tidbits, her daughter got a poodle puppy named Ted and there’s a lot of poop happening as a result.

On Jimmy Fallon:


On Dave Latterman:


Of course these days I’m going to have start calling her my Fake Movie Wife. Because other than late-night talk show appearances the big screen is where I’ll have to visit her these days. So count me among the ticket buys in line to see my lady March 22 when “Admission” opens. Sure, it’ll make conjugal visits awkward. But it’s worth it for Tina.



p.s. Yes, I know all about the Team Swift v. Team Poehler/Fey fake lady controversy. I am firmly on Team Support Women and Take a Joke. Because feminists know how to take, and make, a joke.

The words we use matter. And they matter beyond the realm of political correctness, where we do things just because we fear being publically scorned if we don’t. They matter because of the message they send. And as we struggle and fight to create a more equal and just world, our fight is also over the language we use to express ourselves. It is why those of us who are so gay get upset when someone else calls something or someone that isn’t actually so gay “so gay.”

Like I remember vividly going to see the seemingly innocuous teen drama “Can’t Hardly Wait” years ago in the theater with my little sister and liking its throwaway charm until, in a climatic scene, one of its leads (a young, not-yet father of a sparkling vampire brood Peter Facinelli) is humiliated because he is called a “faggot” in front of everyone. I remember how it stung and turned my stomach, souring the movie for me because the utter shame of being called a “fag” was such a key plot point. And, otherwise, it was a really cute film that starred pretty much everyone in Hollywood (I mean it, everyone – Jennifer Love Hewitt, Lauren Ambrose, Clea DuVall, Ethan Embry, Seth Green, Jaime Pressly, Jason Segel, Selma Blair, Sara Rue, Leslie Grossman, Jenna Elfman, Melissa Joan Hart, Donald Faison….I could go on.) But that one word, one word ruined it. Some might call that picky or oversensitive. Yet one word matters because it’s not just a word. It’s what that word represents.

So for those of us who occasionally get tongue tied – because words matter, but are sometimes hard – here is Bolder-based LGBT activist Ash Beckman deconstructing the “so gay” problem perfectly for us all. And now, in the spirit of the only acceptable alternate usage of the word “gay,” please have a gay weekend, all.

As a writer, it’s a sin to not love The Bard. And as a geek, it’s practically a sin to not love Joss Whedon. So when the two come together in a ecstatic flurry of familiar faces and famous words it’s kind of exhilarating. Kind of? Give me a break. Really freaking exciting, and that’s probably an understatement. We, the assorted huddled masses, now finally get to see this fusion of Shakespeare and Buffyverse as “Much Ado About Nothing” finally gets a trailer and a release date. The backstory on the film is almost as interesting as the finished product. Shot over 12 days in October 2011 in Joss’ house as his wind-down project from filming “The Avengers” with a slew of Whedon favorites including but not limited to Amy Acker, Nathan Fillion, Alexis Denisof, Clark Gregg, Fran Kranz, Tom Lenk, Sean Maher, Reed Diamond and Ashley Johnson (a.k.a. The waitress saved by Captain America).

Now I will say that I wish a few more familiar Whedonverse ladies were in the project. Granted, I know your SMG or Alyson or Elizas are probably too busy/big for it. But I sure wish a Gina Torres or Amber Benson or Summer Glau or Emma Caulfield or Jewel Staite had been there too. But, small quibbles aside, I’m happy to see what seems to be such a genuine and spontaneous project see the light of day (In theaters June 7! Who is going with me?). The original rom-com from the mind and friends of Joss? Count me in.

p.s. Dude, Joss has a really, really, really nice house. Like really. Nice.

So I started to watch “Bomb Girls,” finally, and now I’m in the mood for even more strong women is headscarves with spunky “We Can Do It” attitudes. And nothing is better than the real thing. Here is a collection of images from women at work during World War II giving it their best Rosie the Riveter. Just a reminder that we’ve always been able to do it. And we always will be, too.

A collection of images by Alfred T. Palmer from the WWII era:

“Spring Breakers” by Harmony “Kids” Korine features Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, “Pretty Little Liars’” Ashley Benson and James Franco – so much James Franco. (Warning: Super NSFW)

Right, so what makes me excited about “The Bling Ring” and turned off by “Spring Breakers” – besides Franco’s creepy gold teeth and cornrows – is viewpoint. Granted, we only have short trailers to go off of at this point. But one seems shot, while voyeuristically, from the young women’s point of view. The other seems shot, also voyeuristically, from the unmistakable angle of male gaze. I say this not from an angry lesbian who hates men place (I love ya, fellas, just not in that way), but a women – particularly young women – should be allowed to own their sexual agency place. I’ve got no problem with skin and sex, on their own. Shake what your mama gave you all you want, girl. But it’s the “you” that matters most here. It’s perfectly OK if they want to be bad, as long as their being bad for themselves and not under the direction of or for the enjoyment of some older, powerful dude somewhere. That’s not revolutionary.

Granted, I never expected Korine’s film to be much more than a smash-and-grope exploitation fest. This is the man who employed maximum shock and awe in 1995’s “Kids,” a movie that so disturbed me I had to go eat copious amounts of warm cheese with my friends afterward to feel better. If the trailer and it’s Franco-centric narration is any indication, I’m going to have to buy a whole cheese plant to make it through this one.

Admittedly, I’m more drawn to Coppola’s work – even her laconic misses – in the first place. She brings an elegant visual style and an unhurried voice to all of her work. Plus, the movie also stars Erin Daniels and anything that brings Dana back to us is more than welcome in my world.

So, thoughts? Which teen bad girls movie will have you breaking out the popcorn and handcuffs. But, seriously. Can we talk about Emma’s tongue. I have all these feelings, and none of them are appropriate.

In the spirit of yesterday’s down with the peen point of view post, here is more thoughts on the least welcome member in the lesbian tribe. Yes, ladies who love ladies, let’s talk about penises of the non-detachable (or preferably not detached) variety. Why? Because it’s funny. And they’re funny. And laughing at things which we don’t (or more like don’t want to) understand is a time-honored tradition. Hey, logarithms still crack me up. Long story short, because size really does matter, please press play. I also promise those 2 minutes and 38 seconds are the most I’ll make you ever think about the penis at one time on my blog. And if even that seems too much, there are cute lesbians talking about them. So just press mute.

Regardless of where you fall on the Doccubus-Copubus-BLT Sandwich scale, I hope we can at least all agree that Rachel Skarsten is absolutely killing it this season. Like killing it dead with fire and fantastically funny facial expressions. It’s difficult for any actor to come into an established show and make a mark. Witness Ciara last season who was perfectly nice and a lovely distraction for wolfboy, but also – let’s be honest – boring. Yet Rachel has been able to make her mark and her character her own in less than a season on “Lost Girl.” Whether with an expertly furrowed brow or a perfectly timed zinger, Rachel has emerged in full command of her personality. And, separate from however you feel about whatever ship on the show, I think it’s always great when we’re given another strong, independent female character. Though, admittedly, I’ve always been a sucker for the smartasses.

Tamsin doesn’t suffer fools and, when needed, handles them with a mean right hook. Her confidence is unquestioned, her misanthropy is hilarious, but beneath it all she hides an enigmatic sadness. Which makes sense, it’s not exactly all kittens and cotton candy when your job is to decide who lives and dies on the field of battle. Any show that gives us not one (Bo), not two (Lauren), not three (Kenzi), but four (Tamsin) intelligent, powerful and memorable female characters whose existences do not revolve around men to root for should be applauded. I may not want her to ultimately end up with Bo (Doccubus4Lyfe, yo), but I certainly want her to stick around for a while. More strong female characters shouldn’t divide us (or, worse yet, bring up the oh-so-sexist specter of the catfight). They should be another reason to celebrate. Happy weekend, all.

A reminder on this Monday to always reach for the stars. And by stars I mean actual movie stars. And by actual movie stars I mean Mila Kunis. Like, on this Monday you should ask Mila Kunis out on a date. Why, because everyone is doing it. Marines, awkward British interviewers and this lesbian film student who wants to ply her with Blue Moon and then dance her final cotillion away in her arms. Wait, colleges still have dances? Anyway, point being. Go for it, lesbians. Chase your dreams. Just stay away from Tina Fey because she is, as always, mine.

p.s. In case you missed it, here is the video that helped to make Mila everyone’s second-favorite movie star BFF behind Jennifer Lawrence.

Can I just vote for her already and get this party started? So our gal Hillary has gone and (finally) made it official yesterday about her support of same-sex marriage. She made her first public endorsement of marriage equality and thinks we should all get on board the “freedom and dignity of every human being” train. So, kind of the exact opposite of what John Boehner said Sunday when he said “I can’t imagine” ever supporting same-sex marriage. Sure, it may have taken Hill a tad longer than we all would have liked. But she has long worked to help LGBT people and contended that “gay rights are human rights.” History will remember those who got there and those who never did. Seriously, can I send in my absentee ballot today? I’m ready. Let’s go, 2016.

I was never a huge Michelle Shocked fan. Back in the late 80s when she had arguably her most mainstream success, I was still busy listening to The Bangles and Debbie Gibson – please (like we all don’t have embarrassing pop skeletons in our close). But over the years the mention of Michelle’s name always mustered warm, folky feelings of a smiling short-haired lady who was most definitely on our side. But now it seems she really, really isn’t.News earlier this week that Michelle Shocked said something, well, shockingly anti-gay it felt like an added betrayal. To say gay marriage will cause the end of the world and utter that most base boilerplate for bigotry “God hates fags” to a stunned audience is just terrible enough. But from someone we thought was with us, it’s even more horrible.

The reason is simple. People are supposed to evolve, not devolve. Our human trajectory, as told by Darwin, is one of constant adaptation and improvement. And our beliefs have evolved along with our abilities. The long arc of history has bent toward justice. So when we see it bend backwards, it’s against everything we think we know about ourselves. Sure, some may stay suck in the past, unwilling to change. But once we’ve finally crawled out of the primordial ooze, why would we want to submerge ourselves in the muck again?

The only good news from this whole, sad situation is that so many others seem as appalled as we are by this turnaround. To go from a woman who in 1990 told the gay press she had female lovers to a woman today who has been born again and spouts homophobic hogwash is beyond jarring. It’s the same sadly ironic twist that gives us an anti-choice champion Jane Roe. But luckily, we have more and more examples of the normal progression of evolution everyday. Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Rob Portman and two even two Westboro Baptist “God Hates Fags” Church daughters have seen the light. And, today, more Americans than ever – 58 percent – support gay marriage. Less than decade years ago only 32 percent supported it.

Sure, we’ll still have a shock or two pop up, to remind us where we’ve been. But they will be the exception. And as they sink back into the slime, we’ll be on higher ground looking toward a brighter future.

EDIT: So Shocked has finally publicaly responded to her homophobic rant, claiming it's all some sort of colossal communications breakdown and God doesn't hate gays and neither does she. I think. She instead wants to offer mercy to those who believe in a God who hates instead of one who loves. Yeah, OK. What I do know is she sounds deeply conflicted about many things, probably including herself.

EDIT 2: Here is actual audio from the show, which is also confusing. And in desperate need of Spanish translation.

When gay women think about Lena Headey and the rest of the world think about Lena Heady, two very different images appear. To gay women (and those who enjoy watching gay women’s entertainment), Lena is the adorable and all-too loveable florist who made Piper Perabo and all of us watching lose our hearts with one glance across a crowded chapel. To everyone else she is a supreme villainess with side of incest. OK, she might also be that lady who didn’t look like Linda Hamilton or that other lady who was married to the king with the great abs.

But, if a new Esquire spread featuring Lena is any indication, for the wider world her fame and dedicated fandom thanks to “Imagine Me & You” doesn’t exist. The short article lists off accomplishments as “The Brothers Grimm,” “300,” “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” and even “Dredd” – a movie I didn’t even realize made it to theaters last fall – and of course “Game of Thrones.” Which, I guess if you do your research on Wikipedia, is about the best we can expect. But I’m thankful to know the other side. The funny, goofy, lovely side that only those who care enough to dig a little deeper adored already.

So while I’m happy (so happy) she is very gainfully and very steadily employed on a critically acclaimed and wildly successful show, I also wish more of the world knew the self-deprecating, self-described “scrapper with a penchant for ink” that those of us who knew she wasn’t a natural blonde, or villainess, know.

But, hey, I am not above using some visual aids to help get the point across. Or give us a reminder. I am determined to spread the love by any means necessary. For the greater good and all.

p.s. While I really like “Game of Thrones” (back March 31, y’all), I can’t help thinking that sometimes while watching I deeply feel like Fred Savage. Jesus, what the what?