This has nothing to do with anything lesbian-related, but it did make me laugh for like 5-minutes straight. Dancers at a rave set to Benny Hill music. Please, enjoy. I will be back tomorrow with a real post.
OK, so I lied about having a post today. I got the keys to the new place late yesterday and MOVING IS HAPPENING. Since there is an overlap between when I get the keys to the new place and hand over the keys to the old place, MOVING will be happening for the next two weekends straight (and any time that can be fit in between). So for you that means I’m like this crazy little English bulldog puppy rolling down an endless hill. Except I think my task is in reverse, less fun and more Sisyphusian. Actually, it’s not so bad. But I am terribly busy. So, please excuse the erratic postings for the next week or so.
This is my favorite-ever response to the “Are you gay?” question. Also, it is how I feel about being that much closer to being finished with my move. Hope you had a happy weekend, all.
p.s. I locked the new keys in the house over the weekend. So I got to know the friendly neighborhood locksmith. Good times.
I’m moving all this week so I’m going to be too busy to put up full posts. But, I don’t want to leave you empty handed. So please enjoy these Moving (Double meanings! Word play! Grammar fun!) Vixens this week. Here are Zoie Palmer and Alex LaLonde. Something looks different. I can’t put my finger on it. But don’t they look hairy adorable?
Well now we know there will be at least eight reasons to love her this season of “orphan Black.” Though we all know our love (and her talent) is actually infinite.
p.s. Bonus: Three times the tank tops for this fine Tuesday.
DAMMIT, GLEE. Now I am going to have to watch next week's episode, too, to see what those lesbian lilies are all about.
p.s. Though any real lesbian knows they mean I dare you to love me.
Oy, this show. So, anyway. Thus ends the Janet Tamaro Era. Not exactly barefoot, but possibly pregnant. The small mercy is at least she isn't still engaged. For now. Our hopes and dreams are in your hands, Jan Nash. At least we have Angie Harmon in a tank top to make us feel a little better. Also, recycle. Like Janet does with Maura’s so-called attraction to every and all Rizzoli who isn't called Jane.
p.s. The season finale, thanks for nothing JTam Subtext Recap will be up at AfterEllen today.
Hey, who said the tank tops have to only be on Tuesday? Tank tops all the days, always! Also, this makes me feel bad about dumping “Once Upon a Time” off my DVR.
p.s. So I spent the day cleaning every last inch of my old place. Gimme that security deposit, gimme it now.
Moving is weird. It can also be upsetting, stressful and wonderful – if you like where you’re going. And now that it’s over you can be assured of two things. 1) I will finally shut up about moving (can I get a hallelujah?), and 2) I enjoy the weirdness of life (especially when presented to you packed neatly away in boxes) even more. So what better way to celebrate the end of a move with the wonderful weirdness that is Tilda Swinton. I know from the second the lights went up in the darkened theater at the end of “Orlando,” that I had witnessed the birth of a strange and magical creature I hoped would continue to delight me for the rest of my days. So far so good.
Apologies! I know I said I’d stop talking about moving, but moving won’t stop talking about me. Right after we thoroughly buffed and polished the old house (and two days before handing over the keys), someone busted a window and broke in. So I’ve been dealing with that mess since. Hence the lack of a post yesterday. Luckily, everything (and everyone) was in the new house at the time. But, still, it sucks. Blerg and such.
Anyway, on to more important things. More important things like fictional characters fighting to the death. Or, as its is more formally known, the AfterEllen March Madness: The Hunger Games.
That’s right, it’s a fight to the death between your favorite lesbian, bisexual and totally gaymo characters. And, true to Hunger Games lore, each character has a mentor. So 10 of your favorite AfterEllen writers are all mentoring a team of your favorite characters. I could be gracious and wish everyone well. But screw that. May the odds be ever in Lauren Lewis, Alex Vause, Bette Porter and Brittany S. Pierce’s favor. Winners of various bonus rounds will receive special prizes, powers, etc. What does all this mean? Flex your voting finger. You can vote once an hour.
Obviously, I want Team Snarker to win. But mostly I just want you all to have fun with it. It’s all about having fun and supporting some of the most beloved past and current characters in the Big Lesbo (and Bi) Character Pantheon. So go crazy. And bring weapons.
VOTE HERE IN THE BIG GAY HUNGER GAMES.
#TeamSnarker
Raise your teacup. Marriage equality is the law of the land in the United Kingdom. At the stroke of midnight, like a freaking Disney movie, same-sex marriage became legal in Britain. (England and Wales, at least. Scotland starts later this year. And Northern Ireland, well. Yeah.) The UK adds to the 15 countries who now recognize same-sex marriage – Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, France, Iceland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden and Uruguay. Yeah. Kind of ridiculous screaming, “We’re No. 1!” now isn’t it, America?
Anyway, grumbles aside, what I love about each new country, each new state, each new couple who gets to experience the simple equality of love is how truly, deeply, madly joyous it all is. I mean, if you can’t be happy at a wedding, then you truly aren’t worthy of being a human being, are you? Three cheers for love. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. Just click on the Vine to make the cheering stop looping, in case you were getting too verklempt.
So these days I pretty much only ever watch “Saturday Night Live” for Kate McKinnon. And by “watch,” I mean browse the next day to see which sketch The Internet has deemed worthy. And, almost each and every one of them involves Kate. This week’s was particularly amazing. 1) Because it is funny, and 2) Because it’s actually subtlety really smart about identity politics. But mostly it’s the funny thing. Also, for real, I would totally watch this show. I would watch the hell out of this show.
Right, so the bloodletting continues over at the AfterEllen March Madness: The Hunger Games. So far in Round 2 all four of my Team Snarker picks are still alive (that’s Lauren, Alex, Bette and Brittany) – for now. But Britt-Britt is lagging behind Crazy Eyes. I mean, I get it. Pie throwing is formidable. But come on S.S. Brittana, the ship was just righting itself! Anyway to sweeten the voting pot, here is some incentive. Both in tank top and gif form. Voting continues over at AfterEllen today until 6 p.m. You can vote once an hour. So get a clicking. If you can’t vote for tank tops, what can you vote for?
So last week (or was it the week before – time you blurry vixen, you) the AfterEllen Huddle question was one I rather liked, but didn’t have time to participate in. It was simply, “What was your first lesbian film?”
You always remember your first, right? Sort of. I think my first was “Go Fish.” It is, at least, the first that made a positive impression on me about lesbian life and love. (Though not necessarily about lesbian acting.) I think that’s why I still have such a soft spot for (and, yes, own) the movie. It was the first film to present being gay as something that could be very normal and not at all traumatic or tragic that I can recall.
While thinking about what my first (film) was, I also got to thinking about the first experience of seeing it. How different that experience must be for (clears throat) The Youths of Today. In order to watch a lesbian movie back in the day you had to either 1) Go to the theater and sit in the dark with a bunch of other people, or 2) Go to the video store and try to slip in The Big Lesbo movie in between a copy of “Forrest Gump” and “Reality Bites.” There was a public declaration either way. And, depending on your level of outness at the time, a degree of courage it took to buy that ticket or bring your rental to the counter. I remember it well, because when I started watching my first gay movies I definitely was not out.
Figuring it all out today just takes a couple downloads and, boom – you’re in gay movie heaven. There is so much more privacy (depending on your level of paranoia about the NSA) today to sit and watch the gay from the comfort of your own home without anyone else being the wiser.
I can’t even imagine how much easier it is now, with so much available at a few clicks. But, also, there was something exhilarating about actually seeing that first film out in the big wide world. I know lots probably still do as well.
Though, despite our advances in technology, some things remain universal. No matter the delivery method, there will always be a period in our burgeoning coming out where we consume every.single.lesbian.movie there is in an attempt to see ourselves. Granted, TV gives us a lot more to look at these days as well. But there’s nothing like those nights – probably after the rest of the house has gone to sleep – when you sit and watch the magic of the movies. Even the bad ones. Yeah, “Bar Girls,” that means you.
Ah, memories. So, tell me, what was your first? And how did you watch? And remember, this is for science, so be honest.
If you want a reminder of how “Glee” absolutely, positively wasted its return cameo of Kristin Chenoweth the last few episodes, please enjoy two minutes of our favorite pocket-sized human reminding everyone that giving Gwyneth Paltrow multiple solos instead of her was an absolute joke. What a waste of Cheno.
I hate to admit it, but sometimes I get weepy about commercials. Maybe it’s a family having that first cup of coffee together after a long period apart. Or a good dog who finally gets a forever home. Or any of those damn Google Chrome commercials. I can’t help it. Beneath this ink-black heart is a soft, marshmallow center. But you know what really, really chokes me up? When commercials treat what has for so long been considered “other” – race, gender, sexuality, whathaveyou – as something of worth that is worth presenting. So all these advertisers who include LGBT people and families, man, do I get a little verklempt. I know the cynical, hard side of my heart should say we’ve become just another commodity to sell a product. But if the all-mighty dollar is in a way the greatest equalizer. The “values” that companies once courted now include us. And, in fact, not accepting us as another part of the world worth recognizing has in fact become the opposite of profitable. The new CEO of Mozilla just resigned because of outrage caused by the disclosure of his contributions to the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8. I can’t imagine anything close to that happening 10 years ago. But today, to be anti-gay is quite simply bad for business.
But you know what really, really, really chokes me up? When a company goes out of its way not only to include us, but to defend us. Sure, show a gay couple in your ad. But when the haters come out, it’s how you respond that often shows the truest of colors. So this weekend my crush is on that most wholesome of things. It’s on the goodness of Honey Made graham crackers, that simple snack for kindergarteners everywhere and the foundation for every great s’more. Last month the company put out a commercial titled “This is Wholesome,” which featured gay and interracial couples. And, of course, the crazies emerged. But what they did afterward? Well, let’s just say I’m going to go buy a box of Honey Maid this weekend and have a good, happy cry. Happy weekend, all.
You know what I love (besides puppies and pizza and another p-word that could be crude or could mean a cat)? I love when the real-life persona is completely dichotomous from how much of the public perceives them. Like, of course, Lena Headey. The eternal lesbian heartthrob (Luce, Luce, wherefore art thou, Luce) is famous now for, of course, entirely different reasons. Most of the world knows her as the icy, cunning and endlessly ambitious Cersei Lannister. But, sweet merciful Zeus, is she ever really the opposite. Or, at least appears to be so in all her public appearances and her Instagram account. Is it possible to have a crush on someone’s Instagram account? Too late, I already do.
Lena is pretty much the polar opposite of Cersei. In fact, I think goofball might be the best descriptor. And it is just glorious.
Oh, and don’t forget her turning the House of Lannister patriarch into a loveable beach bum.
Knowing all this simply makes me giggle even more as fourth season of “Game of Thrones” returned this weekend.
Yeah, admit it, this is how you feel every time you turn on the TV. I pretty much have had this song in my head all weekend.[Hat tip, yellerbelly!] Damn right, I ship it.
p.s. Keep voting for the remaining members of Team Snarker (I know we have to eat our own in the Lauren v. Bette battle, but may the best badass win) in the AfterEllen March Madness: Hunger Games.
So yesterday after “Lost Girl” aired its finale on Syfy (hint, hint – read the Rewind Mini-Cap here), the company released a limited edition of Bo’s Magical VaginaLabrys “Freedom to Love” necklace. And, yes, believe me, it still looks like something Georgia O’Keeffe would have painted. The good news: It was created as a benefit for Benefit Plan Canada’s Because I Am A Girl Initiative, which works to empower women and girls by promoting gender equality. The bad news: It is already sold out. But, there should be more good news coming because they are restocking. Also, come on, it still looks a lot like lady bits. I rest my case.
