Are you ready for some fooooootball? Damn, I enjoy watching women’s soccer. I particularly enjoy watching the Women’s World Cup because it’s got everything you could possibly want in good television. Action, comedy, drama, regret, determination, jubilation, anger, despair, elation and sometimes even a little blood. Fine, a lot of blood.
Given, as an American I’m particularly pleased with my home team. And it is Fourth of July Weekend. Finals on Sunday, baby. So in honor of the U.S. Women’s National Team’s accomplishments this World Cup, here is a tribute to everything that makes them great. OK, well perhaps not everything, but the things you lesbians care about the most. Happy weekend and go USA, all.
The Intensity:
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Tobin Heath roars.
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Carli Lloyd pumps.
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Abby Wambach grits.
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Yes, she’s problematic, but no one gives better bitch-get-away-from-my-goal face than Hope Solo.
The Hugs:
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Baby Horse prances.
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Meghan Klingenberg leaps.
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Kelley O’Hara bounds.
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Megan Rapinoe bear hugs.
The Lifts:
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Tobin’s good lift.
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Tobin’s bad lift.
The Thighs:
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Ali Krieger, all day long.
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Sydney Leroux, all night long.
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Tobin, day and night.
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Kelley, always.
The Hair Goals:
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Megan….
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Or Abby?
The abs:
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Rapinoe-oh, damn, girl.
Tobin Heath roars.
Carli Lloyd pumps.
Abby Wambach grits.
Yes, she’s problematic, but no one gives better bitch-get-away-from-my-goal face than Hope Solo.
The Hugs:
Baby Horse prances.
Meghan Klingenberg leaps.
Kelley O’Hara bounds.
Megan Rapinoe bear hugs.
The Lifts:
Tobin’s good lift.
Tobin’s bad lift.
The Thighs:
Ali Krieger, all day long.
Sydney Leroux, all night long.
Tobin, day and night.
Kelley, always.
The Hair Goals:
Megan….
Or Abby?
The abs:
Rapinoe-oh, damn, girl.
p.s. Just to get you extra pumped, here are Abby’s teammates impersonating her. USA! USA! USA!
p.p.s. Well done rest of the world, too, of course.